Jennie’s Blog

Well 2007 in my opinion, was like everything else, a lesson in the circle of life. Since I blog so often, let me catch everyone up.

My niece, Anika Marie White, was born on March 23, 2007. She is very adorable and a joy to be around. She is almost ten months old now but has the height and weight of a fourteen month old. She is extremely smart. Did I already mention that she is adorable? She’s adorable.

My 29 year old brother died on August 16, 2007. That sucked. It still sucks, and according to all I’ve talked to, will ALWAYS suck.

Bryan and I never saw eye to eye. We grew up at opposite ends of the spectrum. Me geeky and unpopular, him a jock and very popular. Needless to say we didn’t get along. All of the sudden we were adults and had no clue how to talk to each other. When we did talk it was awkward. I talk to him more now that he is dead than I ever did when he was alive. Unfortunately, telling youth to be grateful for their siblings is somewhat futile because almost every human being has to go through the “take it for granted” stage. I never understood the phrase “youth is wasted on the young” until my brother died. Sometimes being human just sucks.

It’s 2008 today and I for one am thinking about the year ahead. Resolutions are usually given up on by at least mid-February, so I’ve never put much stock into making them. However, I’ve been thinking - yes on purpose, on a holiday - that changes are no bad thing. I don’t want to call them resolutions, that word is daunting, but wishes for the new year.

The list is rather long, so if you’re bored go read something else.

I wish…

• That I get my house of five years finally unpacked and organized into something I can be proud of so that Joe and I can finally make it our own.
• That I lose sixty pounds.
• That I learn enough about diabetes to get off my glucophage.
• That I become more healthy overall.
• That I get a meaningful part time job that I enjoy that will ease our finances and help get us out of debt sooner.
• That everyone I know and love makes it to the year 2009 happy and healthy.
• That I have a ritual for every Sabbat.
• That I blog more often - it’s good for me.

I will probably add others as the weeks go by. I am going to post this list where I can see it every day. I hope to blog about things I accomplish from the list. To all who are making changes, whether they be resolutions or wishes, may you be blessed in all you do. Blessed be.

Well, you know me, blogging very sporadically or whenever I think to, which amounts to the same thing. I usually never blog because nothing interesting happens. I lead a very mundane life, and blogging about dishes and laundry seems really dumb. So..

I am going to blog about an article I saw in the paper today about this person who is suing a dry cleaners for losing a pair of pants. Suing for $54 million!!! Oooooo kaaaay. I don’t think that if you added up the possessions of Joe and I INCLUDING our outstanding debt, throw in all my friends possessions and their debt would we even come close to $54 million. These pants must be made out of something from outer space that is of legendary value, because I don/t think even Paris Hilton has a $54 million wardrobe. If they are from outer space what are you doing taking them to a dry cleaner’s anyway? GROW UP! By the time you take court costs into account, lawyer fees etc., you could probably buy enough pairs of pants to have one for every day of the year (at least if you shop in the places I frequent.)

Now this may be a dumb thing to blog about but, it is now off my mind. People wonder about the state of the world and why it is the way it is just look at what people are doing. Unreal. This Sunday at church we are having a discussion about the possible downfall of the American empire. I don’t think it’s only possible, but quite likely. We are on the downward slope, sliding so fast into the valley of doom that we think time is standing still. Don’t people have better things to do than sue for $54 million over a pair of pants? I guess not. Speaking of better things to do, the dishes await and Joe needs clean socks.

Well I seem to have this habit of posting at least once every year or so. To continue the trend..

Wed., Nov 1, is my birthday and my mother-in-law sent me this book yesterday called “The Good Good Pig,” by Sy Montgomery. For those of you who know me, I am a pig collector. I have stuffed pigs, ceramic pigs, homeade pigs, you get the idea. This book was right up my alley.

The book is about a 750 pound pig who gets adopted by a naturalist and her husband. It is a wonderful book. It even has pictures! He is a really cute pig! I am in the middle of reading it, yes again, and it still makes me laugh. This pig, his name is Christopher Hogwood, started out a runt. You heard me a runt. There is a picture of him sitting by a cat. The cat is bigger than Christopher.

This book is not just about Chris, but about blessings that can come in any shape or size. Blessings however bizarre the packaging, come at the least unexpected times in your life. Those unexpected times can come marked in a box with your name on it. This book was a blessing to me. Thanks Mom.

Today work was filled with inconsistencies.  I am not to leave my register under any circumstances.  I am always supposed to call someone else to find items for a customer, look up something online or carry things out to the car.  I have gotten in trouble for leaving my register.  So I called for someone (who happened to be the manager) to look something up for a customer online.  The manager told me to do it myself.  This is the same manager who reprimanded me for leaving my register.  Whatever.  So I go look the item up, and lo and behold, I get in trouble for leaving my register by the very same manager.  Sigh….

So then I get told today that I have ten days to finish my online training.  I have only done three modules out of twenty-three.  The last six take four to five hours each to complete.  I am scheduled to work 40 hours this week, so I cannot come in before my shift or stay after my shift to complete the modules because they refuse to pay overtime.  So when is this training supposed to get done?  Ummm…. never?  Goodness.

Subject change -

So my therapist told me to make a time budget, kinda of like a money budget, but with time.  Ugh.  That’s all I’ve got to say about that.  I would have to budget an hour each day to make the time budget for the following day.  The problem with time budgets is that everything takes longer than its supposed to.  Take errands for example.  You budget two hours for them and they end up taking four.  Whaty exactly do you do then?  I better try it though because I cannot fit everything into one day.  I haven’t been to the gym in two months!  That is really, really bad.  I am supposed to work to live not live to work.  Although lately the only thing that gets done is work.  Pathetic isn’t it?  Therefore since things need to be done other than work, I will try this budget thing and give it a go for at least three months.  The first month is probably going to suck.  So here goes…

I have a cell phone from Cingular wireless. Their relentless commercials say they have the most overall coverage and the least dropped calls.  They are “raising the bar.”

Well not in Omaha, they’re not.

I cannot get through a 15 minute call in the Omaha metro area without the call being dropped at least once.  Sometimes it gets dropped two or three times.  The call will even be dropped when I have all of my bars showing.  Now supposedly the more bars you have, the better signal you have.  Whatever!

I moved my best friend Alison, to Evansville Indiana - which is in the middle of nowhere - and I got better reception there! I call customer service repeatedly and they tell me that they haven’t made the transition in all areas.  Sigh.  The reps at the Cingular store try to sell me a new picture phone with - wait there’s more - unlimited text messaging!  Good grief!

I just want to get through a call without it being dropped.  I guess I’ll have to move to Evansville.

June 30 - the one year anniversary of my blog.  Not many entries, but it’s my blog.  I really should try to blog more often but…

Anyway, today my husband wrecked the car.  Got a ticket and everything.  Everyone was alright, but the car may be beyond help.

A picture of Jennie’s day:

I got up at 6am to be at work (I now work in a nice little sandwhich shop) by 8am.  Now at this sandwhich shop, everything is rolled on flour tortillas.  Today we had 95 box lunches, 8 party platters and 200 cookies to get out by 11:15.  Each party platter has five sandwiches on it so that is 140 sandwiches total.  Those were the ones that were preordered.

The actual store opens at 10am.  So between 8am and noon I made 150 sandwiches with the very same hands that are writing this sentence.  Other people were also making sandwiches so that is a lot of damn sandwiches!

Anyway, the store cuts all its own meat, cheese and veggies (carrots, cucumbers, onions, tomatos, green peppers, scallions, and mushrooms).  So with all that sandwich making there was quite a bit of replenishing to do.  I thought that my boss would keep me there until said replinishing was done, but she let me go at noon.

I thought that having lunch with my husband would be a nice thing to do, so I called him and agreed to go pick him up.  (Side note: our other car, MY car is in the shop waiting for a new starter and key tumbler)

I pick him up and we agree to go get Wendy’s and go to a park.  Since we only have one car, I thought that we should choose a park close to our house so that he could take the car to work afterwards and not have to bum a ride home.  The Wendy’s by our house is on a fairly busy street because of the I-80 on and off ramps and is always full of semis going to and from the factories.  You DO NOT turn left during busy times. 

However we want to go left, so Joe gets in the left turn lane exit at Wendy’s.  We have this conversation that we were going to be there all day.  Joe says no, not all day, just until three or so.  I told him that at 3pm it’s pretty hideous as well, but… A semi pulls just past the exit driveway.  The SUV behind the semi does not block the driveway to presumably let us out.  But we cannot see because we are in a Saturn and everybody else is either in a big ass truck, a semi or an evironmentally egregious breadbox (SUVs).  Joe decides he’s all clear because the SUV doesn’t block the driveway.  Out we pull, slammda into minivan.  Now minivan is blocking one lane of traffic and we, facing the wrong way, are blocking the other.  We get our car to the driveway by the Wendy’s.  The minivan is now in the middle lane used for left turns.  I am well, I fell completely apart.  This was all I needed in the face of all the other things I had going on.  The driver of the minivan comes over to see the damage to our car, bumper off, headlight smashed, hood dented, and that is just what I could see.  I am very stereotypically blonde when it comes to car innards so if something is wrong with those I wouldn’t know. 

So needless to say cops, tow trucks, insurance claims, the whole nine yards.  O.K. Just to put icing on the cake, as the driver of the minivan was crossing the street to go get his insurance info, he gets hit by another minivan.  THANK all the powers that be that he just got his foot scraped up.  The paramedics were called anyway, but he was fine.  He is going to the doctor later just to be sure, but he said he was fine.  Then three tow trucks arrive.  We only needed two, so I don’t know why they sent a third one.  During all of this we call our friend Sam, who happens to work with Joe, to come and get us.  He shows up and I cry all over Sam.  Now at Joe and Sam’s work they program in pairs, they cannot write code unless they are in pairs.  Well now Sam and Joe are both out of the office and they were paired up today, so now what they were working on is on hold.  Joe finds out from our insurance company that we have rental car coverage and that Enterprise will deliver a car to us, hence, we do not need a ride from Sam.  Sam knows that I am in need of support but wanting to be productive at work, calls his wife Erica and says that I need company.  So Erica comes and I cry all over her.  After tow trucks and ticket Joe goes back to work with Sam, (details about rental car to be worked out later) and I went with Erica.

Erica and I wait at the scene with the wife and children of the minivan driver until they were picked up.  The minivan driver went and got their other car.  Not wanting to be alone I ask Erica to stay with me.  We went to lunch, bought chocolate, and went shopping. GOOD therapy.

While at the resturante, I am venting about what an idiot my husband is.  Erica, being the voice of reason, says, “Jennie, you can look at this one of two ways.  You can either be pissed and say my husband is an idiot OR you can say we are very lucky no one got hurt.  The mother was very down to earth and handled the whole situation beautifully.  She could have freaked out or have been a total dick about things but she wasn’t - and that - is a blessing.”

Thank the powers that be for voices of reason.

I felt a WHOLE lot better.  It is now 7pm.  Time for mindless TV and curling up with my husband. 

Well I haven’t blogged in quite awhile.  My last blog post was rather emotional and I was just done.  Whenever I went to blog about the mundane things in my life, I worried that someone would read my blog and say what a dumb thing to blog about.  Joe told me it did not matter what I blogged about, my blog was for me -

You know how concepts sometimes go in one ear and out the other?  Well I really do not think that the concepts go out the other ear, they just fail to reach the processing center.   This leads to light bulb moments.  Those moments where the light bulb goes on and all is right with the world.  I’ll explain what I mean.

Say the destination the “concept processing center” is where the concepts need to get to for us to fully understand them.  Brain cells take these concepts from the senses to the processing center.  However sometimes the brain cell gets rerouted and the concept they are carrying - their “luggage” - gets lost.  Hence the lost luggage compartment of our brain.  Concepts just lie in wait going round and round on the shiny thing waiting for their owners to come and claim them.  When the particular brain cell that has the right baggage claim check retrieves their luggage from the conveyor belt and actually takes it to the processing center, we “get” it.  The light bulb goes on, we slap our forheads with the palm of our hand and go, “now why didn’t I think of that sooner?”

The light bulb moment.  We’ve all had them, and if you haven’t had one, go away.  My light bulb moment came yesterday while I was reading about health insurance.  This is my light bulb moment - my blog is for me and who really cares if someone thinks that an entry is stupid.

All together now…

Duh!

There.  Doesn’t everyone feel a lot better?

I am posting a couple of my students e-mail responses stemming from my forced resignation.  My students appreciated my honesty and candor about their stupid class.  I feel exonerated - still fired - but exonerated because my students have said it all.  These particular e-mails are from students who were basically flowers on the wall, meaning they never stayed after class to chat, or came in for extra help.  These students were never very vocal in class and did not stand out in the class.  I have many e-mails from my vocal students, but these e-mails from my flower students make me feel very good about what I was accomplishing in the classroom.  Here are their e-mails.

—

Not at all, your teaching was great
One thing I like about your teaching was that you went straight to the point.
I am not going to have fun at all with the new person I can guarantee you
that. You know me already if there is something wrong I would not hesitate
to voice my concern. I do not have faith in the biology department for some
reason. I have had some bad experinces from the day I was looking for your
office which nobody seemed to know up till now. I stick in there till the
end of the semester. Trust I will never take a class in that department.
I wish you all the best. And count on me if I need help I will surely
contact you for help.
Thanks again
================================================

Jennie,
I think that you are one of the best teachers I have had, you are
knowledgable, caring, and empathtic.  I can not believe that anyone in
their right mind could find you unfit.  But in the long run I am happy for
you because the pain is over and hopefully you can find somewhere that you
will be appreciated for the person that you are.  I have an idea of the
stuff you were going through and I am happy that it is over for you.  I am just
disappointed in the U.N.O program for letting you go.  Thank you for
being a teacher but most of all a friend.  See you on Monday…Good luck with
the interveiw…I understand if it goes long.

P.S. You will be missed!

======================================================

Jennie-

Personally, I was very happy with your methods of teaching.
After the first day of lab, when you actually had us go around to the
stations, I was worried about what this lab experience was going to be
like. I noticed, as you’ve pointed out, that the answers are not always in
the stupid posters that are located at each station.
I was very pleased when, the following week, you made the outline more
closer to an actual classroom. Since this is an introductory class, I can only assume that us students
are really not supposed to know anything, and your format was much more
beneficial in that regard, in my opinion.
I think it really sucks that just because you make some changes to the
curriculum, only making it better for the students, and yet they are
forcing you to resign, is really ridiculous.
I find it ironic that individuals who are in the science community,
individuals that are supposed to realize that there is more than one
way to do something - and that the current way might not be best - are the
same individuals who are forcing you to resign.
You only missed one class. That is really nothing. I had an English
class my freshman year in which the teacher missed 11 or 12 classes. That
professor wasn’t fired.

Also, I have asthma, and I noticed you had an inhalor in class one
morning, so I am assuming you do as well. I know that if I was in the hospital
until 3 AM that saturday morning, even if I had set my alarm for the right
time, I might not have made it to class.
It seems like the people who are “above” you, apparently only by
position of authority, are real unforgiving bastards and their actions will turn
out to only hurt the students in your lab rather than help.

Thank you for being our lab instructor - I think you did a great job.

I hope all works out for you.
==========================================================
Jennie -

Thank you for letting me know what was up. I am sorry to see that you
must leave, since you taught better than any other TA that I have had in the
3 and a half years of college I have muddled through. I hope that you
find luck in wherever you may be going from here. One thing that I noticed
was that you have a very good way of relating with students, was curious as
to whether you ever considered teaching at a high-school/community college
level. Wouldn’t know if you would enjoy that, they can be  bureaucratic
bitches too. Again thank you, and good luck.

==========================================================

Jenny - I am so sorry about what happened, you don’t deserve the pain and everything involved. I feel INCREDIBLY satisfied with you as my TA and I’m going to be depressed going into lab on wednesday, and the following wednesdays as well. Is there anything that I can do anymore or is all said and done? I would like to try if it means you getting your position back. Thank you for being my favorite teacher this semester, take care of yourself. If I need extra help, which I will I’m sure, I will be knockin’ on your door. Thanks again!

============================================================

This particular student tried to take this class a couple of semesters ago.  He actually told me that he requested my lab section this semester.  Here is his e-mail.

——

First off I would like to say that the biology department here is full
of shit-heads if they cannot see what a wonderful TA you have been to
all of us.  We appreciate you more than you will ever know it.  I know
that you had to do what you had to do and refuse to think that anyone
who knows you can blame you for your decision.  I personally would not
deal with the likes of these people either.  I hope all is well for you
and that you complete your goals despite all of the UNO turmoil.  I
would like to think that on some level even if it is a very small one we
also became friends during these last 2 semesters, so from one friend to
another good luck and we’ll be seeing ya.  I have your number and will
surely call for help or just to say hello.  May you be blessed with
serenity to accept the things you cannot change,  the courage to change
the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference..-

================================================

It is really nice to know that I was reaching my students.

Emerson

So I went to the BIG meeting and was told that my dismissal process had started on Monday.  This meeting (on Thursday) was just a formality to let the me know about the department’s decision to dismiss me.  Great.  Verdict and sentencing before I was even aware there was a problem.  I am taking a temporary leave of absence from all things academic until further notice, effective yesterday at noon.  I was very unhappy at grad school anyway.  This semester my disenchantment with grad school was at its worst.  I wasn’t sleeping or eating or even teaching very well.  My schoolwork suffered a lot.  I need a break, the opportunity presented itself, and so I took one.     

I feel slightly giddy.  I actually got some sleep!  I haven’t been able to sleep in months.  This may be a veeerrry dangerous thing.

I applied for a job online Thursday afternoon and was called Friday afternoon for a phone interview.  I have a final interview on Monday!  I just applied.  They said it would take at least a week to hear anything from them.  This just affirms my belief in everything happens for a reason and there are no coincidences in life.  Yeah me.

Yesterday was a really shitty day.  Bush won (more about this later) and I was personally attacked for everything I had ever done wrong in the class I TA, 1020.

In this three page memo, I was told that I was shirking my TA duties, not showing up for the meetings and not proctoring enough of the said exams.  The students have four exams.  There are three sections of the exam.  During two of these times I teach 1020 lab.  Am I supposed to teach lab or proctor an exam?  Proctor I guess, since that is what is more important here.  This memo went on to blame me again, for things that I thought were already discussed, I was already disciplined for, and I thought were put to rest.  Well that’s what I get for assuming, it makes an ass out of you and me.  Mostly me at this point.  

Issue One:  Meetings - As for the meetings, see my blog post “It’s always been this way…“ about that.  These meetings are at noon on Mondays.  I have class in Lincoln until 10:50 am on Monday.  It takes about an hour to drive back to Omaha.  This means that if class gets let out late, or the construction is especially hideous I am late for the meeting.  They supposedly knew this at the begining of the semester, but it is now the end of the world because I missed last Monday’s meeting. 

Issue Two: Blatant disregaurd for my duties - I missed lab on Saturday, it was as my husband put it, an honest mistake.  I set the alarm for nine, well class starts at nine.  Now I am being irresponsible.  I thought that things were already cleared up about this, I got yelled at on Tuesday about this when I got yelled at for missing the meeting.  Assuming, again. 

Issue three: Student endangerment - My first semester teaching, I had a fist fight in my class room.  Unit nine is the evolution unit.  A very Bible oriented individual and a very atheistic individual got into a fight.  They obviously did not see eye to eye over this evolution unit.  This was four semesters ago.  At the beginning of the evolution unit I show a film called crerationism vs. evolution.  This film interviews a scientist that does not believe in evolution.  He is in the camp that thinks the Grand Canyon was formed in a matter of weeks.  The film goes on to show the museum in San Diego, the Scientific Creationist Museum, that displays the theory of everything being created in seven days.  BTW the exhibit for the seventh day is a park bench - the day of rest.  Then the film interviews Steven Gould who is very, very pro evolution to the exclusion of all things spiritual.  If you don’t know who Dr. Gould is, he wrote several books, his last one is called the Panda’s Thumb, in which he describes the evolution of the panda’s thumb from a wrist bone.  He says, “…if God had made the Panda from scratch, He wouldn’t have done such a crummy job…”

This has been a very effective way for me to introduce this unit.  I know it’s effective because my teacher evaluations, even from the first semester, list that film as something the students remember most about that class.  Well four semesters later, this three page memo said I had endangered the lives of my students and disrupted the learning process by showing an unapproved film.  When I went to get the film approved, the coordinator did not want to see it, she told me she trusted my judgment about its appropriateness.  Well now it’s unapproved.

Issue four: Not following curriculum - see my blog post “It’s always been this way…“ about this.

Issue five: Missing seminar - Seminar is this hour every Wednesday at noon in which the grad school community gets together and listens to someone give an hour presentation about his/her research.  Before grad students are given their degree they have to give one of these seminars.  Well last semester I was scheduled to teach 1020 lab from 11am to 2pm on Wed.  Does anyone see a problem with this picture?  I am now in trouble for missing a semester of said seminar.

Issue five: Insubordination - Two semesters ago, there was a fire in my classroom.  The hot plates we were using had to date back to the 1800s.  I was doing a demonstration in which I had to heat beakers of oil and water in order to show how the cell membrane worked.  The hot plate under the oil caught on fire.  The coordinator in her infinate wisdom, locked the fire extinguisher in her office, because “it looked too ugly hanging on the wall.”  When the fire started she came out of her office and proceeded to help by jumping up and down and yelling fire.  Oh that is real helpful!  Then she proceeded to try and throw water on the fire.  Water on an oil fire, oh there’s a great idea.  So I told her not to.  Had to block her from getting to the water faucet.  I put the fire out with the fire blanket that’s in the hallway.  And so now I’m in trouble for insubordination.

Issue six: Not following procedure - This semester I had a student who tried to eat some agar cubes.  They are bright pink and look like jello.  They get soaked in HCl to make the color go away.  This little exercise is supposed to teach the kids about diffusion and surface area.  Well this student ate an agar cube that had been in the HCl.  I called poison control.  I did not follow procedure by a) not informing my students of the hazards of eatting and drinking anything in the lab and b) not finding a professor or “grown-up” in charge before I called poison control.  Now that is a swell idea - spend ten minutes running around the building trying to find someone in charge to ask for permission to call the poison control center.  Sure not following procedure, sure whatever you say “grown-ups”…

The memo goes on.  I was just shocked.  I have a meeting today with all the higher ups about these issues.  I am so going to win that fight let me tell you.  When working as a manager at McDonald’s sounds a lot more appealing than being a TA something is WRONG!  Here’s to higher education and tying to make a difference - would you like fries with that?