So I felt myself wondering why today how I always want to blog but never take the time to.  It’s been over a year since I have blogged, which is no surprise if you look at the blog history.  My blog is not flashy or earth shattering, and now I’m asking myself if it has a purpose in my life.  What do other people’s blogs do for them? I have never asked my husband Joe this question. I know that some people make money on their blogs, but what were they for originally? What do I have one for? Maybe it’s for all those thoughts you get about absolutely nothing important but will not leave your brain. For example, I recently took this career quiz online and it said my number one job choice would be in science.  Well – DUH – that is what my degree is in, but the second highest score really surprised me.  The score said I would like a job as a professional writer. Me? I have the vocabulary of a second grader, I can’t spell, my syntax is horrid and I’ve never learned how to type.  How could I possibly want to be a writer? This conundrum has been rolling around in my brain for two weeks now and won’t leave. So I blog away…

What led me to answer those quiz questions the way I did? A writer? It sure beats telemarketing. But a writer? The only thing I know how to write now are scientific papers. The papers that start with abstracts and are broken down into hypothesis, methods, results and discussion sections. The kind of reports that only scientists understand.

Now I read quite a lot of fiction. I read at least three or four books a week. I know what other kinds of writing look like, but I haven’t the foggiest notion HOW to write those other kinds. Writing might be like calculus – once you take calculus you can no longer add or subtract – once you are trained to write scientific papers all bets are off for other kinds of writing. Supposedly this quiz was all scientific and stuff and I could pay to have the “complete”  results e-mailed to me. Whatever. The results were predictable on all counts except this writing thing.

I have been giving this whole writing thing some thought however. Before being blinded by science I would tell people that my favorite subject was English. As I thought about this I wondered why that was the case. I liked writing most everything but poetry. Poetry has never made any sense to me and I have no gift for it.  My fiction was also pretty shaky but that is neither here nor there.

As I mulled all this in my head I realized that a lot of professional writing is not all fiction or poetry.  I suppose that I could be a technical writer like for manuals and stuff people never read, but would that make me happy?  After all this is about my happiness right? I never considered myself in a writing position, always a teacher or a lab rat.  What would a writing position be like? Would I have to go back to grade school to learn what I didn’t the first time around? How about typing? What about syntax? Where do adults go to learn stuff they were never taught? ESL classes? All questions that maybe I don’t want to have answered.

Writing books say that to become a better writer you need to write a lot. I have some problems with this statement. If I write every day for hours will it improve my syntax? My vocabulary? Somehow I highly doubt it. I need those skills first, and then they will improve with practice. And again we come to those same questions. Where do you get English skills once you are out of school?

And why am I so obsessed about that stupid test and what it said? I have never taken those things so literally before. Why now? Am I deep down in my heart of hearts really want to be a writer? I thought a lot about writing a memoir when my brother died. I wanted to get all the feelings that were flooding my soul out of me. I never did write a thing about my experience with that grief. I was afraid that if my parents found out who their daughter really was that it would lead to a lot of uncomfortable conversations that I did not want to have.

I also have tried to attempt to write three novels during National Novel Writers Month (NaNoWriMo). NaNoWriMo is this insane group where writers from all over, each try to write a novel of 50,000 words in a month. The wackos picked November for their month, so right off the bat they shorted themselves one whole day. I have never finished this insane challenge.

Other things have occurred to me about how I might want to be a writer. I have read several novels on writing. They each had really good points for improving your writing, but I never wrote them down so I have no idea what they are. What if a writing career was feasible? Of course all the a fore mentioned questions about vocabulary and stuff would need to be answered, but what if?